Chapter 1
Page 1
THE HISTORY OF THE Countess of DELLWYN.
BOOK I.
CHAP. I.
A Wedding.
AT that Period of the Year, when, in poetic Language, Crown'd with the Sickle, and the Wheaten Sheaf, While Autumn, nodding o'er the yellow Plain, Comes jovial on; *
And in plain Prose, At that Season
* THOMSON'S Seasons.
VOL. I. B when
Page 2
when all Pleasure-hunters are following their Pursuits from one public Assembly to another, having almost wearied themselves with rambling to and fro, Lord Dellwyn arrived at his magnificent Habitation in London. His Lordship was in his grand Climacteric, labouring under a Complication of Diseases, the melancholy Effect of a luxurious and intemperate Manner of wasting the joyous Spring, the pleasant Bloom, of Life. By the Assistance of Attendants Lord Dellwyn was moved from his Bed into a Chair, or rather a Machine, so artfully contrived, that he could vary his Postures, either lay himself almost at length, or sit upright, as his various Pains required: This very Machine, invented for the Assistance of Imbecility, by its Adornments sufficiently indicating that the Grandeur of its Owner was on no account to be forgot. My Lord was wheeled, by his Servants, into another Apartment, for a Purpose which, if Truth did not prompt
Page 3
prompt me to reveal, its Improbability would never suffer me to invent. My Lord's Purpose was to be married. A special Licence permitted him to perform the Ceremony at his own House, and such extraordinary Circumstances prevailed on the Lady (as her own Father was to give her to my Lord in Marriage) to waive the Female Privilege of being flattered, and attended, in that one Hour of Matrimony. My Lord therefore, in the Apartment which he had appointed for the Solemnization of his Nuptials, found assembled Mr. Lucum, his Daughter the destined Bride, the Clergyman, and all Things requisite for his Purpose. A Contrast in Nature is said to afford the Mind of Man much Entertainment. Imagination cannot form a greater than that between the noble Bridegroom, and the young Lady who stood ready to present him her Hand, and devote herself to him for Life, by the most solemn Vows.
B 2 Miss
Page 4
Miss Lucum had just entered her Seventeenth Year. The warmest Lover, with the most poetical Imagination, ranging, like the Bee, through all the various Flowers in Nature, extracting Beauties to which he might compare his Mistress, would fall short in the Description of the natural Glow and Freshness which adorned Miss Lucum's Complexion. Her Eyes shone with Lustre all their own, and required not the borrowed Ornaments of Dress, or Diamonds, to set them off to Advantage; her Person was perfect Symmetry and Proportion ; and her Neck was the exact Model of that of the beautiful Statue of History, placed on the Duke of Argyle's Monument in Westminster-Abbey. His Lordship pronounced his Assent to take to Wife his destined Prey (in the Words, I will), with a Voice as audible, as generally breaks forth from a Mouth vacated by the Inhabitants, its Teeth : The Voice, at that Season of
Page 5
of Life, losing the sonorous, full, mellow Sound, and resolving itself into a kind of sharp Treble; a harsher, and at the same time a less intelligible, Sound. When the Bridegroom was to place the Ring on the Finger of his Bride, the Spirit was indeed so willing, that his Eyes made a Sort of Effort towards expressing a Sense of Joy; yet was the Flesh so truly weak, that thrice, oh ! fatal Number! Thrice The gilded Chain dropp'd from his trembling Hand; And had his Lordship received no Assistance, his purposed Marriage had been absolutely baffled; but Mr. Lucum, the Lady's Father, thrice eagerly presented it to his Right Honourable son-in-law. The Number Three, even from ancient Times, has been suspeted by the Superstitious, to involve in it some fatal Mystery of ill boding Destiny. On
B 3 this
Page 6
this Occasion the learned Augurs would have thought it unnecessary to consult the Entrails of Birds or Beasts. A Soothsayer less instructed than he was, who warned Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March," might have read a Prophecy in the different Countenances of the beauteous Bride, and the noble Bridegroom. The very Gold seemed endued with Sense, and as if it had learned all the Knowlege of the moral Philosopher Square, appeared to be so fully acquainted with the Fitness of Things, as with great Indignation to decline being placed on the taper Finger of the blooming Virgin, by that withered Hand, so visibly inadequate to its destined Purpose. All Difficulties were at length con- quered; and every Obstacle being removed, Lord Dellwyn obtained his Desire, and made Miss Lucum his Bride. It was remarkable, that, during the Performance of the whole Ceremony, Miss
Page 7
Miss Lucum never once changed Countenance, but preserved an unalterable Steadiness, rather inclined to the gay, than to that mixed Concern which generally attends so young a Lady on such Occasions. It is not improbable but that her Thoughts were wandering on some future Scenes of Grandeur; and that, in fact, neither the noble Bridegroom, nor the solemn Vows she was making at the Altar, were even once in her Thoughts, which were far otherwise employed. She also obtained her Desire, and became a Countess. Whatever ludicrous Expressions may have been made use of in this Chapter, no Reader can, I think, so far misconstrue them, as to suppose they mean any Intimation, that old Age is, in itself, a proper Object of Ridicule. None are, for being what they are, in fault; But for not being what they would be thought.
B 4 Which
Page 8
Which two Lines can never be too often quoted, as they are so strikingly applicable to such various Characters amongst Mankind *. Old Age, after a well spent Life, if attended with to- * Such Critics would do well to peruse that @rex in Ben Johnson's Every Man out of his Humour, from whence the following Quotation, as being imimediately applicable to the present Purpose, is taken; "For that were to afirm, that a Man, writing of Men, should mean all Emperors; or, speaking of Machiavel, comprehend all Statesmen; or, in our Sordid@, all Farmers; and so of the rest; than which nothing can be uttered more malicious or absurd. Indeed, there are a Sort of these narrow-eyed Decypherers, I confess, that will extort strange and a@e Meanings out of any Subject, be it never so conspicuous, and innocently delivered. But to such (where-ever they sit concealed) let them know, the Author defies them, and their Writing-tables; and hopes no sound or safe judgment will infect itself with their contagious Comments, who indeed come only here to pervert and poison the Sense of what they hear, an for nought else."
terable
Page 9
Terable Ease, hath in many Particulars the Advantage even of Youth itself; inasmuch as calm, even-flowing animal Spirits, are to be preferred to the frantic Flights arising from the Intoxication of sparkling Champagne. The whimsical Sallies of Wit are the natural Productions of the latter; but the Fruits of the former are pleasing Comfort, and settled Content. I know not a more amiable Sight than a chearful old Gentleman, his Family looking up to him for Lessons of Wisdom, acquired by his Experience ; and whose Authority is founded on grateful Affection, and not on the lavish Terror of a tyrannic Master; all Fear concerning him, in the Hearts of those who are so happy as to be. placed under his Direction, being confined to his own Welfare and Safety. When Reflexion is attended with the infinite Pleasure of approving his own past Conduct, and the Power of Fore- thought (which, in this World, seems confined
B5
Page 10
confined to Man alone), becomes to him the greatest of Blessings, by filling him with pleasing Hopes, and joyful Expectations. 'Tis a Consummation devoutly to b wish'd. * And this is a Happiness which it is in the Power of every young Man to provide for himself, against the Time of his old Age, with much more Cer- tainty than any of those Advantages which Mankind labour under and struggle for, with such unabated Anxiety.
* Shakespeare. CHAP.
Page 11
Chap. II.
The Power of an Englishman of Fortune.
MY Lord Dellwyn was in Possession of his Title and Fortune at the Age of Two-and-twenty; his Father had carefully provided him a Tutor, whose principal Charge consisted in an absolute Prohibition of contradicting his Pupil, even although his Desires should be highly unreasonable. His Will was to be absolutely his Law: He had Ten thousand Freaks that dy'd in thinking; and ten thousand frantic Frolicks which he put in Practice.
B 6 From
THE HISTORY OF THE Countess of DELLWYN.
BOOK I.
CHAP. I.
A Wedding.
AT that Period of the Year, when, in poetic Language, Crown'd with the Sickle, and the Wheaten Sheaf, While Autumn, nodding o'er the yellow Plain, Comes jovial on; *
And in plain Prose, At that Season
* THOMSON'S Seasons.
VOL. I. B when
Page 2
when all Pleasure-hunters are following their Pursuits from one public Assembly to another, having almost wearied themselves with rambling to and fro, Lord Dellwyn arrived at his magnificent Habitation in London. His Lordship was in his grand Climacteric, labouring under a Complication of Diseases, the melancholy Effect of a luxurious and intemperate Manner of wasting the joyous Spring, the pleasant Bloom, of Life. By the Assistance of Attendants Lord Dellwyn was moved from his Bed into a Chair, or rather a Machine, so artfully contrived, that he could vary his Postures, either lay himself almost at length, or sit upright, as his various Pains required: This very Machine, invented for the Assistance of Imbecility, by its Adornments sufficiently indicating that the Grandeur of its Owner was on no account to be forgot. My Lord was wheeled, by his Servants, into another Apartment, for a Purpose which, if Truth did not prompt
Page 3
prompt me to reveal, its Improbability would never suffer me to invent. My Lord's Purpose was to be married. A special Licence permitted him to perform the Ceremony at his own House, and such extraordinary Circumstances prevailed on the Lady (as her own Father was to give her to my Lord in Marriage) to waive the Female Privilege of being flattered, and attended, in that one Hour of Matrimony. My Lord therefore, in the Apartment which he had appointed for the Solemnization of his Nuptials, found assembled Mr. Lucum, his Daughter the destined Bride, the Clergyman, and all Things requisite for his Purpose. A Contrast in Nature is said to afford the Mind of Man much Entertainment. Imagination cannot form a greater than that between the noble Bridegroom, and the young Lady who stood ready to present him her Hand, and devote herself to him for Life, by the most solemn Vows.
B 2 Miss
Page 4
Miss Lucum had just entered her Seventeenth Year. The warmest Lover, with the most poetical Imagination, ranging, like the Bee, through all the various Flowers in Nature, extracting Beauties to which he might compare his Mistress, would fall short in the Description of the natural Glow and Freshness which adorned Miss Lucum's Complexion. Her Eyes shone with Lustre all their own, and required not the borrowed Ornaments of Dress, or Diamonds, to set them off to Advantage; her Person was perfect Symmetry and Proportion ; and her Neck was the exact Model of that of the beautiful Statue of History, placed on the Duke of Argyle's Monument in Westminster-Abbey. His Lordship pronounced his Assent to take to Wife his destined Prey (in the Words, I will), with a Voice as audible, as generally breaks forth from a Mouth vacated by the Inhabitants, its Teeth : The Voice, at that Season of
Page 5
of Life, losing the sonorous, full, mellow Sound, and resolving itself into a kind of sharp Treble; a harsher, and at the same time a less intelligible, Sound. When the Bridegroom was to place the Ring on the Finger of his Bride, the Spirit was indeed so willing, that his Eyes made a Sort of Effort towards expressing a Sense of Joy; yet was the Flesh so truly weak, that thrice, oh ! fatal Number! Thrice The gilded Chain dropp'd from his trembling Hand; And had his Lordship received no Assistance, his purposed Marriage had been absolutely baffled; but Mr. Lucum, the Lady's Father, thrice eagerly presented it to his Right Honourable son-in-law. The Number Three, even from ancient Times, has been suspeted by the Superstitious, to involve in it some fatal Mystery of ill boding Destiny. On
B 3 this
Page 6
this Occasion the learned Augurs would have thought it unnecessary to consult the Entrails of Birds or Beasts. A Soothsayer less instructed than he was, who warned Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March," might have read a Prophecy in the different Countenances of the beauteous Bride, and the noble Bridegroom. The very Gold seemed endued with Sense, and as if it had learned all the Knowlege of the moral Philosopher Square, appeared to be so fully acquainted with the Fitness of Things, as with great Indignation to decline being placed on the taper Finger of the blooming Virgin, by that withered Hand, so visibly inadequate to its destined Purpose. All Difficulties were at length con- quered; and every Obstacle being removed, Lord Dellwyn obtained his Desire, and made Miss Lucum his Bride. It was remarkable, that, during the Performance of the whole Ceremony, Miss
Page 7
Miss Lucum never once changed Countenance, but preserved an unalterable Steadiness, rather inclined to the gay, than to that mixed Concern which generally attends so young a Lady on such Occasions. It is not improbable but that her Thoughts were wandering on some future Scenes of Grandeur; and that, in fact, neither the noble Bridegroom, nor the solemn Vows she was making at the Altar, were even once in her Thoughts, which were far otherwise employed. She also obtained her Desire, and became a Countess. Whatever ludicrous Expressions may have been made use of in this Chapter, no Reader can, I think, so far misconstrue them, as to suppose they mean any Intimation, that old Age is, in itself, a proper Object of Ridicule. None are, for being what they are, in fault; But for not being what they would be thought.
B 4 Which
Page 8
Which two Lines can never be too often quoted, as they are so strikingly applicable to such various Characters amongst Mankind *. Old Age, after a well spent Life, if attended with to- * Such Critics would do well to peruse that @rex in Ben Johnson's Every Man out of his Humour, from whence the following Quotation, as being imimediately applicable to the present Purpose, is taken; "For that were to afirm, that a Man, writing of Men, should mean all Emperors; or, speaking of Machiavel, comprehend all Statesmen; or, in our Sordid@, all Farmers; and so of the rest; than which nothing can be uttered more malicious or absurd. Indeed, there are a Sort of these narrow-eyed Decypherers, I confess, that will extort strange and a@e Meanings out of any Subject, be it never so conspicuous, and innocently delivered. But to such (where-ever they sit concealed) let them know, the Author defies them, and their Writing-tables; and hopes no sound or safe judgment will infect itself with their contagious Comments, who indeed come only here to pervert and poison the Sense of what they hear, an for nought else."
terable
Page 9
Terable Ease, hath in many Particulars the Advantage even of Youth itself; inasmuch as calm, even-flowing animal Spirits, are to be preferred to the frantic Flights arising from the Intoxication of sparkling Champagne. The whimsical Sallies of Wit are the natural Productions of the latter; but the Fruits of the former are pleasing Comfort, and settled Content. I know not a more amiable Sight than a chearful old Gentleman, his Family looking up to him for Lessons of Wisdom, acquired by his Experience ; and whose Authority is founded on grateful Affection, and not on the lavish Terror of a tyrannic Master; all Fear concerning him, in the Hearts of those who are so happy as to be. placed under his Direction, being confined to his own Welfare and Safety. When Reflexion is attended with the infinite Pleasure of approving his own past Conduct, and the Power of Fore- thought (which, in this World, seems confined
B5
Page 10
confined to Man alone), becomes to him the greatest of Blessings, by filling him with pleasing Hopes, and joyful Expectations. 'Tis a Consummation devoutly to b wish'd. * And this is a Happiness which it is in the Power of every young Man to provide for himself, against the Time of his old Age, with much more Cer- tainty than any of those Advantages which Mankind labour under and struggle for, with such unabated Anxiety.
* Shakespeare. CHAP.
Page 11
Chap. II.
The Power of an Englishman of Fortune.
MY Lord Dellwyn was in Possession of his Title and Fortune at the Age of Two-and-twenty; his Father had carefully provided him a Tutor, whose principal Charge consisted in an absolute Prohibition of contradicting his Pupil, even although his Desires should be highly unreasonable. His Will was to be absolutely his Law: He had Ten thousand Freaks that dy'd in thinking; and ten thousand frantic Frolicks which he put in Practice.
B 6 From
Chapter 2
Page 12
From this hopeful Beginning, his Lordship, at the proper Time, was sent to make the Tour of Europe; from whence he return'd, full fraught with all such Knowlege as Signifies roundly Nothing. The Earl his Father, who had taken such Care to give his Inclinations their full Scope, was the first Person who contradicted his Desires. For at One- and-twenty, the young Man thought it a Hardship on him to be kept from the fulll Possession of his Fortune, and was strongly fixed in his Opinion, that the Season of Youth is the only Time in which a Man can enjoy Life; and that his Father, who was in his Fiftieth Year, had reached the Extremity of old Age. However, his Father did not long continue this stubborn Contradiction; for, within a short Time, he died of the Effects of a violent Surfeit, and very complaisantly left the World for his Son, as Shakespeare expresses
Page 13
presses it in Richard the Third, to bustle in. The Power of an English Nobleman, or Gentleman, of a large For- tune, is of a very great Extent. He may have a little Territory or Kingdom of his own, where the Obedience of all his Subjects would be voluntary; the Blessings of Thousands would attend his Comings-in, and his Goings- out; he may gratify every innocent Wish, preserving, by Temperance, the best Health his natural Constitution will admit of; he may (if he pleases) pass through this Life with Peace and Plea- sure, and lay it down without a Sigh, or trembling Terror; he may have the inexpressible Pleasure of Self-Approbation, and the joyous Hope that he is acceptable even to GOD Himself. But no Englishman is so devoid of Liberty, as to be constrained to accept such Advantages. Free Choice is left. him to do as he pleases: he hath Power
Page 14
Power to destroy his Health by riotous Living, and his Fortune by Gaming; he may half starve the Poor, who belong to the Places where his Property lies, by draining away all his Money to waste either in public Places, or in the Metropolis. No one has Authority to prevent his destroying the Peace of his own Mind, by all manner of Iniquities; he cannot be used like Children, from whom wise Parents take Knives, and all Instruments of Mischief. He must be suffered to follow the Career of his Inclinations, though it lead him to live a wretched, painful, turbulent, and unhappy Life; when Grief aids Disease, remember'd Folly stings *. He may arrive at real and lasting Pain, through the Road of imaginary and momentary Pleasures; purchase Con- tempt, by assiduous Search of Praise; * The Vanity of human Wishes, the Tenth Satire of Juvenal, imitated by Samuel Johnson. reduce
Page 15
reduce himself to Beggary, by grasping at the Wealth of others; and die a Death of Terror, unlamented by every human Creature but himself. Of these two Sketches of human Pictures, is it credible that any Man, should hesitate which to chuse? and yet such is the Fact, that Lord Dellwyn embraced the latter; and from the Time of his coming into the Possession of his Fortune, he gave a Loose to every Gratification, that either his Inclination or his Whims could suggest. He hunted himself out of Breath in Pursuit of Happiness; but unfortunately sought her only in every Corner where she was not to be found. He eagerly pursued Pleasure, but constantly ran beyond the Mark, and left her far behind him. As the untamed and high-mettled Steed, who scorns his Rider's Curb, runs swiftly through Lawns and Vallies, leaps over Hedges and Ditches, sur-
Page 16
surmounting every Hill and Mountain; yet leaves the Race to be won by the well-governed' Courser, who obeys the Rein, and in the Track marked out for his Progress, reaches the Goal: so might Lord Dellwyn, by setting a Curb on his whimsical Inclinations, with a very small Degree of the Labour he imposed on himself, in his vain Pursuit of Pleasure, have attained the Sumrmit of human Happiness. He was sometimes seized with Astonishment, to find himself unhappy in the midst of such an unbounded Power, when suddenly some new Idea of Pleasure would strike his Imagination, and drive before it all Power of Reflexion. The Life his Lordship chose, brought him to that Condition in which we have seen him enter the married State. In his grand Climacteric he discovered, that to live soberly, with a virtuous young Wife, might possibly render him more solid Happiness, than he had ever hitherto
Page 17
hitherto enjoyed. Even this Piece of Wisdom did not find its Way into his Mind by Reflexion (that Passage for its Entrance had long been too closely barricadoed), but came in at his Eyes, and engaged his constant Counsellors, his Inclinations, on the Side of a fair Object he had accidentally beheld, at the House of a neighbouring Gentleman. One Circumstance unluckily slipt his Memory, namely, the Impropriety of his own Age for carrying into Practice the Wisdom of his late Discovery; and tho' he formerly thought Fifty was the Extremity of old Age, yet was his Lordship now convinced of the Errors of his Youth, and clearly perceived, that a Man is not declined much into the Vale of Years at the Age of Sixty-three; and comforted himself with reflecting, that the Judgment strengthens, in proportion as the Imagination decays. In the mean time, the destined Bride was ignorant of her approaching Honour,
Page 18
Honour. My Lord had concluded the Match in his own Mind, and was fully satisfied, that such pecuniary Advantages and such Dignities, as were to be obtained by the Lady, in her Nuptials with him, could not possibly be rejected by her.
CHAP.
From this hopeful Beginning, his Lordship, at the proper Time, was sent to make the Tour of Europe; from whence he return'd, full fraught with all such Knowlege as Signifies roundly Nothing. The Earl his Father, who had taken such Care to give his Inclinations their full Scope, was the first Person who contradicted his Desires. For at One- and-twenty, the young Man thought it a Hardship on him to be kept from the fulll Possession of his Fortune, and was strongly fixed in his Opinion, that the Season of Youth is the only Time in which a Man can enjoy Life; and that his Father, who was in his Fiftieth Year, had reached the Extremity of old Age. However, his Father did not long continue this stubborn Contradiction; for, within a short Time, he died of the Effects of a violent Surfeit, and very complaisantly left the World for his Son, as Shakespeare expresses
Page 13
presses it in Richard the Third, to bustle in. The Power of an English Nobleman, or Gentleman, of a large For- tune, is of a very great Extent. He may have a little Territory or Kingdom of his own, where the Obedience of all his Subjects would be voluntary; the Blessings of Thousands would attend his Comings-in, and his Goings- out; he may gratify every innocent Wish, preserving, by Temperance, the best Health his natural Constitution will admit of; he may (if he pleases) pass through this Life with Peace and Plea- sure, and lay it down without a Sigh, or trembling Terror; he may have the inexpressible Pleasure of Self-Approbation, and the joyous Hope that he is acceptable even to GOD Himself. But no Englishman is so devoid of Liberty, as to be constrained to accept such Advantages. Free Choice is left. him to do as he pleases: he hath Power
Page 14
Power to destroy his Health by riotous Living, and his Fortune by Gaming; he may half starve the Poor, who belong to the Places where his Property lies, by draining away all his Money to waste either in public Places, or in the Metropolis. No one has Authority to prevent his destroying the Peace of his own Mind, by all manner of Iniquities; he cannot be used like Children, from whom wise Parents take Knives, and all Instruments of Mischief. He must be suffered to follow the Career of his Inclinations, though it lead him to live a wretched, painful, turbulent, and unhappy Life; when Grief aids Disease, remember'd Folly stings *. He may arrive at real and lasting Pain, through the Road of imaginary and momentary Pleasures; purchase Con- tempt, by assiduous Search of Praise; * The Vanity of human Wishes, the Tenth Satire of Juvenal, imitated by Samuel Johnson. reduce
Page 15
reduce himself to Beggary, by grasping at the Wealth of others; and die a Death of Terror, unlamented by every human Creature but himself. Of these two Sketches of human Pictures, is it credible that any Man, should hesitate which to chuse? and yet such is the Fact, that Lord Dellwyn embraced the latter; and from the Time of his coming into the Possession of his Fortune, he gave a Loose to every Gratification, that either his Inclination or his Whims could suggest. He hunted himself out of Breath in Pursuit of Happiness; but unfortunately sought her only in every Corner where she was not to be found. He eagerly pursued Pleasure, but constantly ran beyond the Mark, and left her far behind him. As the untamed and high-mettled Steed, who scorns his Rider's Curb, runs swiftly through Lawns and Vallies, leaps over Hedges and Ditches, sur-
Page 16
surmounting every Hill and Mountain; yet leaves the Race to be won by the well-governed' Courser, who obeys the Rein, and in the Track marked out for his Progress, reaches the Goal: so might Lord Dellwyn, by setting a Curb on his whimsical Inclinations, with a very small Degree of the Labour he imposed on himself, in his vain Pursuit of Pleasure, have attained the Sumrmit of human Happiness. He was sometimes seized with Astonishment, to find himself unhappy in the midst of such an unbounded Power, when suddenly some new Idea of Pleasure would strike his Imagination, and drive before it all Power of Reflexion. The Life his Lordship chose, brought him to that Condition in which we have seen him enter the married State. In his grand Climacteric he discovered, that to live soberly, with a virtuous young Wife, might possibly render him more solid Happiness, than he had ever hitherto
Page 17
hitherto enjoyed. Even this Piece of Wisdom did not find its Way into his Mind by Reflexion (that Passage for its Entrance had long been too closely barricadoed), but came in at his Eyes, and engaged his constant Counsellors, his Inclinations, on the Side of a fair Object he had accidentally beheld, at the House of a neighbouring Gentleman. One Circumstance unluckily slipt his Memory, namely, the Impropriety of his own Age for carrying into Practice the Wisdom of his late Discovery; and tho' he formerly thought Fifty was the Extremity of old Age, yet was his Lordship now convinced of the Errors of his Youth, and clearly perceived, that a Man is not declined much into the Vale of Years at the Age of Sixty-three; and comforted himself with reflecting, that the Judgment strengthens, in proportion as the Imagination decays. In the mean time, the destined Bride was ignorant of her approaching Honour,
Page 18
Honour. My Lord had concluded the Match in his own Mind, and was fully satisfied, that such pecuniary Advantages and such Dignities, as were to be obtained by the Lady, in her Nuptials with him, could not possibly be rejected by her.
CHAP.
Chapter 3
Page 19
CHAP. III.
Philosophy put to flight by Ambition, without daring to hazard a Battle.
MR. Lucum, the young Lady's Father, was from his Youth a promising State-Genius. The whole Multitude of Prophets, who make it their Study to foretel future political Events, were unanimously of Opinion, that he was destined to great Power and Honours. He was often the Subject of Coffee-house Debates, and was generally introduced to the Tea-table Conversations of female Politicians. These Prophecies were in part fulfilled; for at Times he enjoyed both Power and Honour. No Man had more Experience of the Vicissitudes of human Life, amongst all the great Variety of Parties which
Page 20
which were formed from his first Appearance on the political Theatre; there was not one to which he had not at particular Seasons connected himself, and, when he judged proper, as surely forsaken. He had in his Possession a certain Kind of political Weather-glass, which he consulted on all Occasions, and made the constant Guide of his Actions; and so assiduously he watched its Motions, that the least Tendency towards rising or falling was immediately perceptible to his searching Eye. This Thermometer was closely concealed, and some plausible Reason ever ready to account for his sudden Alteration of Opinion; for, like Hudibras's Disputant, he could with exquisite Art, Change Sides, and still confute: And, like Hudibras's Politician, he was So politic, as if one Eye Upon the other were a Spy, That
Page 21
That to trapan the one to think Ihe other blind, both strove to blink: And, By giving Aim from Side to Side, He never fail'd to save his Tide; But got the Start of ev'ry State, And, at a Change, ne'er came too late. Experience of his Conduct taught others Knowlege, and he became a second-hand Weather-glass to those, who observed carefully with what Dexterity he could veer about to all Parts of the Compass. But to drop the Metaphor. Mr. Lucum at length became the Contempt of all Parties, and experienced all the Affliction that public Neglect can inflict on an ambitious Mind. This political Star sat in an obscure Corner, filled with the restless Uneasiness which attends a forced Retirement from the World. Surely Force alone hath the Power to extract
Page 22
extract from a rural Retreat its sweet, calm Contentment. Mr. Lucum had a paternal Estate, sufficient for the Enjoyment of the Comforts and Conveniences of Life, but not to admit of tinsel Show or glittering Pomp; which, in his Imagination, reduced him to as great Want, as if a real State of wretched Poverty had been his melancholy Fate. Ambition has the Property of the strongest Poison, and envenoms every thing with which it is surrounded. Time, the great Healer of the unfortunate Mind, at length afforded him a little Respite; he began to open his Eyes on the natural Beauties of the Country, and discovered that he could enjoy the Light of the Sun, without being Pilot to any political Vessel. Mr. Lucum had one only Daughter, who had indeed hitherto been almost unnoticed, and unthought of by her
Page 23
her Father, the consulting his Weather-glass having constituted his chief Employment. The Voice of Ambition had surmounted the Voice of Nature; and he was surprized to find what Pleasure it was in the Power of a Child's innocent Prattle to bestow. He had lost his Wife, whilst he was in one of the frantic Dreams of Ambition, when he had no Idea of the Comfort of an amiable domestic Companion, nor indeed of any other real Enjoyment. Ambition, like a Conjurer's Wand, had so confined his Mind within one Circle, that he could no more give his Thoughts free Liberty to range out of that Boundary, than if he had really been under the Power of Enchantment: nor was the famous Knight of La Mancha ever bound stronger, in all the imaginary Whims of his own Invention. The
Page 24
The Lady slipt out of the World and her Husband's Remembrance at one and the same Moment.; the Day of her Death being the Day of his Advancement to some new Honour. Mr. Lucum had had the Advantage of a liberal Education, was endued naturally with a lively Capacity, and also had acquired a large Share of Knowlege in the dead Languages: at length between the new-born Pleasure afforded him by his little engaging Child, and that Delight which Reading has so great a Power to bestow, some Degree of Tranquility found an Entrance into his long worried Bosom. The great Disturbers of his present Peace were those diurnal Histories, commonly called Newspapers. The Days of their Arrival were black-lettered Days in his Calendar. A Paragraph, beginning with the Words, We hear his Majesty has been pleased to appoint, was sufficient to raise a Tumult
Page 25
Tumult in his Breast; he could bite his nether Lip, and roll his Eye-balls like Othello; for some Rival must be preferred, because he was so unfortunate as to make himself a Rival to all Mankind. On those Days his Library was neglected, his fatherly Affection abated, and his only Refuge was fixing his Thoughts very philosophically on the short Duration of human Life. He could fly to that Reflection as to an Asylum from present Sorrow, and yet stop there without any Consideration of another World. Oh! thou squint-ey'd, half-sighted Ambition, that canst shut in all thy Views with such a bounded, narrow, and contemptible Prospect ! well might one of thy most submissive Slaves, on whom thou bestowed'st all the Ho- nours in thy Power to grant, weep, to find of how little Value was all that his Labour had obtained </dagger>. </dagger>Alexander the Great.
VOL. I. C The
Page 26
The Death of his chief Competitor, in the Fifth Year of his Retirement, contributed greatly to his Ease. It abated the Edge of his Curiosity for Newspapers; and he then fixed himself to read Philosophy and History, as his most serious Study, and relaxed his Mind at times with the Flights of Poetry. History afforded some Consolation, in helping him to a Discovery, which, strange as it may appear, was quite new to him; namely, that he was not the first ambitious Man who had been disappointed.; and he began to consider, that his Misfortunes were not singular; but that This wide and universal Theatre Presents more woeful Pageants, than the Scene Wherein we play*. But, with all these Assistances, it was Nine Years (One short of the
* The Comedy of As you like it.
Siege
Page 27
Siege of Troy) before he could even make himself believe, that his Mind was truly calm. Then, indeed, he strutted, and plumed himself in his Philosophy, fancied he despised the World, and resolved, that no Temptation should ever allure him back again into such a Scene of Confusion; but yet his Memory was faithful in retaining the sharpest Satire he had read against Mankind, which he delighted to heighten; and this Pratice he admitted as a strong Proof of his being filled with the greatest Contempt for the World, and its Manners. In this State was his Mind, when Lord Dellwyn, with a splendid Retinue, arrived at his Gate. His Lordship's Business was to claim Mr. Lucum's Daughter in Marriage. A sudden Proposal of this Kind (for my Lord could not suppose such an Offer required much Ceremony) so astonished Mr. Lucum, that it was some Moments before he could return an Answer. That Ambition, which Disappointment had lulled to
C 2 sleep,
Page 28
sleep, roused itself, suddenly shook off its Heaviness, and, in an Instant, was restored again to its original Activity; and that Philosophy, which was so lately admitted a Guest into Mr. Lucum's Mind, shrunk, and hid its diminished Head ; not daring to advance to the Combat against so potent an Adversary. Bargains are soon made, when both sides agree in the same Opinion *; and, as soon as Mr. Lucum could recover his Astonishment, he acknowleged the Honour conferred on his Family, in Terms which fully satisfied his Lordship. Thus was the Match between Two, of the Parties concluded, almost as soon as mentioned. Lord Dellwyn gave Mr. Lucum some Hints of a lucrative Employment, he imagined it might be in his Power to procure for * Unless where any Advantage is proposed by an Affectation of Backwardness; which was, far from being the present Case.
his
Page 29
his Father-in-law; for they were already Father and Son in their own Imaginations. Lord Dellwyn did not request the Sight of his fair Mistress on the first Visit, but left her Father to prepare her for the intended Honour; chusing rather to address her, when her Consent was already obtained, than to undertake the Trouble of what is called Courtship; for his Lordship imagined there must be some small Degree of Speech-making from him to the Lady, unless she was first acquainted with his Design by her Father. Now Plato and Aristotle might moulder on the Shelf, all their Precepts forgotten. Mr. Lucum's Contempt of the World, when he could no longer make a Figure in it, was the last Refuge his Pride could find to keep him fiom sinking. Such a rotten Foundation was naturally undermined by the first alluring Prospect Ambition pre-
sented
C3
Page 30
sented, and down fell the mighty Superstrucure into that Nothing from which it was raised; and that Imagination, which had been so long forcibly confined within a narrow Boundary, now made its Way through every Obstacle, and in a Moment found itself hovering around St. James's. Miss Lucum's Consent to be a Countess was so entirely depended on by her Father, that the least Doubt of it never entered his Thoughts; but here, very unexpectedly, he met with a steady Resistance to his Will; for Miss Lucum absolutely refused the Honour intended her. Lord Dellwyn was highly disagreeable in her Sight; and she chose raher to submit to any State of Life, than to shine in the highest Sphere on such Terms; she called it Prostitution, and heroically defied all such Temptations. Miss Lucum's Life had hitherto passed in one continual Round of Tran-
quility
Page 31
quility; but now the whole Scene was changed, and ruffling Storms succeeded that pleasant Calmness. The Words perverse, stubborn, disobedient, undutiful, pitiful, paultry, were the Epithets liberally bestowed on her by her Father; and tho' the lively Capacity of his Daughter had often gratified his Vanity, yet was she now suddenly transformed into the greatest of Fools. To refuse such an Honour, appeared so unnatural and monstrous in his Sight, that he declared he would turn such an. insipid mean-spirited Creature from under his Roof, being perfectly convinced that if his Daughter would not be a a Countess, it was very reasonable that she should be abandoned to any Misfortunes or Miseries whatsoever. And now his Ambition was again roused from that Lethargy, wherein it had been lately lulled, he saw no Medium between Grandeur and Distress, and determined with himself, that if his Daughter would not shew her Obedience, by accepting of the former, she
C 4 should
Page 32
should suffer enough of the latter to satisfy his Anger. Mr. Lucum had not been long conveyed, in Fancy, to St. James's, before he determined to convey the heavier Part, his Person, also thither. Miss Lucum, received her Father's Commands to prepare herself to wait to prepare herself to wait on him to London, without the least Degree of Pleasure, being rather concerned to quit a Place she had so long enioyed; but, without Hesitation, obey'd him. He would have chose to have seen her filled with Raptures she could not contain; for he accounted himself an unfortunate Father, because his Daughter could be satisfied with a rural retired Life. Nothing remarkable happened during their Journey; except only that Miss Lucum, at the Age of Seventeen, regretted the pleasant Situation she had left, and was totally indifferent to all the
Page 33
the gay Scenes, of which her Father told her she, should be a Partaker; and that Mr. Lucum, in the Decline of Life, thought the Horses went too slow, and rejoiced greatly in every Advance towards the.Metropolis.
C5 CHAP.
CHAP. III.
Philosophy put to flight by Ambition, without daring to hazard a Battle.
MR. Lucum, the young Lady's Father, was from his Youth a promising State-Genius. The whole Multitude of Prophets, who make it their Study to foretel future political Events, were unanimously of Opinion, that he was destined to great Power and Honours. He was often the Subject of Coffee-house Debates, and was generally introduced to the Tea-table Conversations of female Politicians. These Prophecies were in part fulfilled; for at Times he enjoyed both Power and Honour. No Man had more Experience of the Vicissitudes of human Life, amongst all the great Variety of Parties which
Page 20
which were formed from his first Appearance on the political Theatre; there was not one to which he had not at particular Seasons connected himself, and, when he judged proper, as surely forsaken. He had in his Possession a certain Kind of political Weather-glass, which he consulted on all Occasions, and made the constant Guide of his Actions; and so assiduously he watched its Motions, that the least Tendency towards rising or falling was immediately perceptible to his searching Eye. This Thermometer was closely concealed, and some plausible Reason ever ready to account for his sudden Alteration of Opinion; for, like Hudibras's Disputant, he could with exquisite Art, Change Sides, and still confute: And, like Hudibras's Politician, he was So politic, as if one Eye Upon the other were a Spy, That
Page 21
That to trapan the one to think Ihe other blind, both strove to blink: And, By giving Aim from Side to Side, He never fail'd to save his Tide; But got the Start of ev'ry State, And, at a Change, ne'er came too late. Experience of his Conduct taught others Knowlege, and he became a second-hand Weather-glass to those, who observed carefully with what Dexterity he could veer about to all Parts of the Compass. But to drop the Metaphor. Mr. Lucum at length became the Contempt of all Parties, and experienced all the Affliction that public Neglect can inflict on an ambitious Mind. This political Star sat in an obscure Corner, filled with the restless Uneasiness which attends a forced Retirement from the World. Surely Force alone hath the Power to extract
Page 22
extract from a rural Retreat its sweet, calm Contentment. Mr. Lucum had a paternal Estate, sufficient for the Enjoyment of the Comforts and Conveniences of Life, but not to admit of tinsel Show or glittering Pomp; which, in his Imagination, reduced him to as great Want, as if a real State of wretched Poverty had been his melancholy Fate. Ambition has the Property of the strongest Poison, and envenoms every thing with which it is surrounded. Time, the great Healer of the unfortunate Mind, at length afforded him a little Respite; he began to open his Eyes on the natural Beauties of the Country, and discovered that he could enjoy the Light of the Sun, without being Pilot to any political Vessel. Mr. Lucum had one only Daughter, who had indeed hitherto been almost unnoticed, and unthought of by her
Page 23
her Father, the consulting his Weather-glass having constituted his chief Employment. The Voice of Ambition had surmounted the Voice of Nature; and he was surprized to find what Pleasure it was in the Power of a Child's innocent Prattle to bestow. He had lost his Wife, whilst he was in one of the frantic Dreams of Ambition, when he had no Idea of the Comfort of an amiable domestic Companion, nor indeed of any other real Enjoyment. Ambition, like a Conjurer's Wand, had so confined his Mind within one Circle, that he could no more give his Thoughts free Liberty to range out of that Boundary, than if he had really been under the Power of Enchantment: nor was the famous Knight of La Mancha ever bound stronger, in all the imaginary Whims of his own Invention. The
Page 24
The Lady slipt out of the World and her Husband's Remembrance at one and the same Moment.; the Day of her Death being the Day of his Advancement to some new Honour. Mr. Lucum had had the Advantage of a liberal Education, was endued naturally with a lively Capacity, and also had acquired a large Share of Knowlege in the dead Languages: at length between the new-born Pleasure afforded him by his little engaging Child, and that Delight which Reading has so great a Power to bestow, some Degree of Tranquility found an Entrance into his long worried Bosom. The great Disturbers of his present Peace were those diurnal Histories, commonly called Newspapers. The Days of their Arrival were black-lettered Days in his Calendar. A Paragraph, beginning with the Words, We hear his Majesty has been pleased to appoint, was sufficient to raise a Tumult
Page 25
Tumult in his Breast; he could bite his nether Lip, and roll his Eye-balls like Othello; for some Rival must be preferred, because he was so unfortunate as to make himself a Rival to all Mankind. On those Days his Library was neglected, his fatherly Affection abated, and his only Refuge was fixing his Thoughts very philosophically on the short Duration of human Life. He could fly to that Reflection as to an Asylum from present Sorrow, and yet stop there without any Consideration of another World. Oh! thou squint-ey'd, half-sighted Ambition, that canst shut in all thy Views with such a bounded, narrow, and contemptible Prospect ! well might one of thy most submissive Slaves, on whom thou bestowed'st all the Ho- nours in thy Power to grant, weep, to find of how little Value was all that his Labour had obtained </dagger>. </dagger>Alexander the Great.
VOL. I. C The
Page 26
The Death of his chief Competitor, in the Fifth Year of his Retirement, contributed greatly to his Ease. It abated the Edge of his Curiosity for Newspapers; and he then fixed himself to read Philosophy and History, as his most serious Study, and relaxed his Mind at times with the Flights of Poetry. History afforded some Consolation, in helping him to a Discovery, which, strange as it may appear, was quite new to him; namely, that he was not the first ambitious Man who had been disappointed.; and he began to consider, that his Misfortunes were not singular; but that This wide and universal Theatre Presents more woeful Pageants, than the Scene Wherein we play*. But, with all these Assistances, it was Nine Years (One short of the
* The Comedy of As you like it.
Siege
Page 27
Siege of Troy) before he could even make himself believe, that his Mind was truly calm. Then, indeed, he strutted, and plumed himself in his Philosophy, fancied he despised the World, and resolved, that no Temptation should ever allure him back again into such a Scene of Confusion; but yet his Memory was faithful in retaining the sharpest Satire he had read against Mankind, which he delighted to heighten; and this Pratice he admitted as a strong Proof of his being filled with the greatest Contempt for the World, and its Manners. In this State was his Mind, when Lord Dellwyn, with a splendid Retinue, arrived at his Gate. His Lordship's Business was to claim Mr. Lucum's Daughter in Marriage. A sudden Proposal of this Kind (for my Lord could not suppose such an Offer required much Ceremony) so astonished Mr. Lucum, that it was some Moments before he could return an Answer. That Ambition, which Disappointment had lulled to
C 2 sleep,
Page 28
sleep, roused itself, suddenly shook off its Heaviness, and, in an Instant, was restored again to its original Activity; and that Philosophy, which was so lately admitted a Guest into Mr. Lucum's Mind, shrunk, and hid its diminished Head ; not daring to advance to the Combat against so potent an Adversary. Bargains are soon made, when both sides agree in the same Opinion *; and, as soon as Mr. Lucum could recover his Astonishment, he acknowleged the Honour conferred on his Family, in Terms which fully satisfied his Lordship. Thus was the Match between Two, of the Parties concluded, almost as soon as mentioned. Lord Dellwyn gave Mr. Lucum some Hints of a lucrative Employment, he imagined it might be in his Power to procure for * Unless where any Advantage is proposed by an Affectation of Backwardness; which was, far from being the present Case.
his
Page 29
his Father-in-law; for they were already Father and Son in their own Imaginations. Lord Dellwyn did not request the Sight of his fair Mistress on the first Visit, but left her Father to prepare her for the intended Honour; chusing rather to address her, when her Consent was already obtained, than to undertake the Trouble of what is called Courtship; for his Lordship imagined there must be some small Degree of Speech-making from him to the Lady, unless she was first acquainted with his Design by her Father. Now Plato and Aristotle might moulder on the Shelf, all their Precepts forgotten. Mr. Lucum's Contempt of the World, when he could no longer make a Figure in it, was the last Refuge his Pride could find to keep him fiom sinking. Such a rotten Foundation was naturally undermined by the first alluring Prospect Ambition pre-
sented
C3
Page 30
sented, and down fell the mighty Superstrucure into that Nothing from which it was raised; and that Imagination, which had been so long forcibly confined within a narrow Boundary, now made its Way through every Obstacle, and in a Moment found itself hovering around St. James's. Miss Lucum's Consent to be a Countess was so entirely depended on by her Father, that the least Doubt of it never entered his Thoughts; but here, very unexpectedly, he met with a steady Resistance to his Will; for Miss Lucum absolutely refused the Honour intended her. Lord Dellwyn was highly disagreeable in her Sight; and she chose raher to submit to any State of Life, than to shine in the highest Sphere on such Terms; she called it Prostitution, and heroically defied all such Temptations. Miss Lucum's Life had hitherto passed in one continual Round of Tran-
quility
Page 31
quility; but now the whole Scene was changed, and ruffling Storms succeeded that pleasant Calmness. The Words perverse, stubborn, disobedient, undutiful, pitiful, paultry, were the Epithets liberally bestowed on her by her Father; and tho' the lively Capacity of his Daughter had often gratified his Vanity, yet was she now suddenly transformed into the greatest of Fools. To refuse such an Honour, appeared so unnatural and monstrous in his Sight, that he declared he would turn such an. insipid mean-spirited Creature from under his Roof, being perfectly convinced that if his Daughter would not be a a Countess, it was very reasonable that she should be abandoned to any Misfortunes or Miseries whatsoever. And now his Ambition was again roused from that Lethargy, wherein it had been lately lulled, he saw no Medium between Grandeur and Distress, and determined with himself, that if his Daughter would not shew her Obedience, by accepting of the former, she
C 4 should
Page 32
should suffer enough of the latter to satisfy his Anger. Mr. Lucum had not been long conveyed, in Fancy, to St. James's, before he determined to convey the heavier Part, his Person, also thither. Miss Lucum, received her Father's Commands to prepare herself to wait to prepare herself to wait on him to London, without the least Degree of Pleasure, being rather concerned to quit a Place she had so long enioyed; but, without Hesitation, obey'd him. He would have chose to have seen her filled with Raptures she could not contain; for he accounted himself an unfortunate Father, because his Daughter could be satisfied with a rural retired Life. Nothing remarkable happened during their Journey; except only that Miss Lucum, at the Age of Seventeen, regretted the pleasant Situation she had left, and was totally indifferent to all the
Page 33
the gay Scenes, of which her Father told her she, should be a Partaker; and that Mr. Lucum, in the Decline of Life, thought the Horses went too slow, and rejoiced greatly in every Advance towards the.Metropolis.
C5 CHAP.
Notes to Vol. 1, Book 1, Chapters 1-3
Notes to Chapter 1
Climacteric: “Relating to or constituting a climacteric: Any of certain supposedly critical years of human life, when a person was considered to be particularly liable to change in health or fortune. In extended use: constituting or having the effect of a critical event or point in time; critical, decisive; epochal.” (OED)
Imbecility: “weakness, feebleness, debility, impotence.” (OED)
Augurs: “A religious official among the Romans, whose duty it was to predict future events and advise upon the course of public business, in accordance with omens derived from the flight, singing, and feeding of birds, the appearance of the entrails of sacrificial victims”, celestial phenomena, and other portents.” (OED)
Soothsayer: “One who claims or pretends to the power of foretelling future events; a predictor, prognosticator.” (OED)
(Cf. Act 1, Scene 2 of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar (1601):
"Beware the Ides of March"
"Beware the Ides of March"
Philosopher Square: character from Henry Fielding’s 1749 novel, The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling. Mr. Square is a Philosopher/school teacher to Tom and Master Blifil
Quote from Henry Fieldings 1742 novel, Joseph Andrews, or The History of the Adventures of Joseph Andrews and of his Friend Mr. Abraham Adams.
"None are, for being what they are, in fault:
But for not being what they would be thought."
"None are, for being what they are, in fault:
But for not being what they would be thought."
Sallies: A breaking forth from restraint; an outburst or transport (of passion, delight, or other emotion); a flash (of wit); a flight (of fancy).” (OED)
Cf. Act 3, Scene 1 of Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Quote from the famour “To be or not to be” speech.
'Tis a Consummation devoutly to b wish'd"
'Tis a Consummation devoutly to b wish'd"
Notes for Chapter 2
Quote from John Drydon’s poetic political satire, Absalom and Achitophel.
" Ten thousand Freaks that dy’d in thinking"
" Ten thousand Freaks that dy’d in thinking"
Richard III is a historical play written by William Shakespeare (1592)
pecuniary:” Consisting of money; exacted in money”. (OED)
Notes for Chapter 3
Vicissitudes: Change, mutation, mutability, as a natural process or tendency in things or in life generally; successive substitution of one thing or condition for another, taking place from natural causes.” (OED)
The quote “Change Sides, and still confute” is from Samuel Butler’s 17th century mock heroic narrative poem Hudibras.
prattle: “The action of prattling; foolish, inconsequential, or incomprehensible talk; childish chatter; gossip or small talk; an instance of this.” (OED)
La Mancha: reference to the Spanish novel, Don Quixote, or The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha, by Miguel de Cervantes.
diurnal: Of or belonging to each day; performed, happening, or recurring every day; daily. Of periodicals: Published or issued every day.” (OED)
Othello: Shakespeare’s 1603 tragedy play, The Tragedy of Othello, the Moor of Venice
Cf. Act 2, Scene 7 of Shakespeare’s As You Like It"This wide and universal Theatre
Presents more woeful Pageants, than the
Scene Wherein we play"
Presents more woeful Pageants, than the
Scene Wherein we play"
As you Like it is a comedy play by William Shakespeare.
Troy: city of the Trojan War
Plato: Greek philosopher 428/427 or 424/423 BC– 348/347 BC
Aristotle: Greek philosopher 384 BCE-322 BCE
St. James’s Palace in London
paultry: "Refuse, rubbish; (also) a worthless person or thing.” (OED)
