Chapter 7
Page 60
CHAP. VII.
A complete Metamorphosis, without the Assistance of any supernatural Power.
WHEN such a Genius as Homer seems to be entering the vast wild Field of Romance, and bestows on his Circe the Power of depriving Men of their Senses, and stupefying them into Stocks or Stones; or either to extend their Arms into Wings, by the Help of which they cut the yield- ing Air, or, by another Kind of Transformation, to make them proper Companions for the four-footed Beasts of the Field; doth not Homer, by giving Men their Choice, whether or no they will drink of the Circaean Cup, plainly indicate, that he means nothing more than that the natural Intoxication, which is
the
Page 61
the Consequence of vicious Pleasures, has the Power of divesting Mankind of Humanity, and of changing Men into the Likeness of irrational Animals?
Ovid, with his unbounded Imagination, finds a Resemblance almost to every Vice in some different Animal; into the Likeness of which he puts the human Form.
These ingenious Men undoubtedly fell into this Method of displaying the fatal Effects of unbridled Inclinations, from the Difficulty they found of relating common Occurrences with Elegance, or of giving such an Energy to their Moral as would gain the Attention of any Number of Readers, without adding the pleasing Arts of Fancy. The bodily Changes they relate lead the few into the Contemplation of the intricate Labyrinths of the human Mind, and the Multitude have a marvellous Story for their Diversion.
Miss
Page 62
Miss Lucum was mentally transformed into another Creature: From that State of calm Tranquility, with which she left the Country, her whole Mind was now overwhelmed with black Clouds and tempestuous Storms.
An Amphisbena is said, by the Naturalists, to be a Creature so unfortunate as to be formed with Two Heads ; the one continually striving to lead it for- ward, and the other as strenuously endeavouring to drag it backward. It has been remarked, that every Individual amongst Mankind bears a Resemblance to some Species of the animal Creation: and Physiognomists say, that the human Mind hath the characteristical Disposition of the animal Species to which its Countenance bears a Similitude. As no Amphisbena's are to be seen in this Part of the World, it is impossible to determine whether Miss Lucum's Face was like either of those of the miserable double-headed Creature ; but it is certain that her Inclinations were drag-
ing
Page 63
ing her into such different Paths, that Ovid, with great Consistency with his manner of Writing, might have clapped her on a Pair of Heads, with the utmost Facility.
No Egyptian Task-master can in Cruelty exceed the Tyrant Vanity; for she delivers, at one and the same time, Two opposite Commands; expects implicit Obedience; flatters her Subjects with some gay Reward of their Labours; and, in the End, all those Per- sons, who have unhappily chosen such a Leader, find, to their great Mortification, that, like Macbeth's Dagger,
There is no such thing.
Alps rise o'er Aps, "and Cloudcapt Mountains" are to be surmounted, and, when the Summit is gained, it is as slippery as Ice; and there is no Method to gain a resting Place, but to descend again as fast as possible.
The
Page 64
The Tyrant had informed Miss Lucum, that Equipage and Magnificence of all kinds were necessary to her Well- being; and that all other Things were beneath the Inclinations of a Woman of Spirit. There was but One visible Means by which she could obtain this valuable Gratification; and the same Vanity forbad her that Road. To condescend to court the Man she had refused; to confirm the Truth of the Rumour that was spread through the Town, that she wished to allure my Lord Dellwyn to be her Husband ; this was a Mortification too great to sup- port with any Degree of Patience. Sometimes a small Remembrance of a Possibility of returning into the Country, would appear for a Moment al- most an eligible Alternative; and if, at that Instant, Lord Dellwyn had sollicited her Favour, in all Probability vain would have been his Sollicitation; but, on the other Hand, the Possibility of its not being in her Power to regain his Lordship, the dreadful Catastrophe
of
Page 65
of Lady Fanny Fashion's becoming his Countess, the Fear that she herself could not, together with that most alarming of all Fears, that Lady Fanny could, were Inducements too powerful to be withstood. She lost the Consideration of all the Consequences that must unavoidably attend such a Marriage, and determined to give her Hand to Lord Dellwyn, as a less Evil than what she otherwise apprehended.
Miss Lucum's Determination on Marriage by no means removed all her Perplexity; for altho', during her short Stay in London, she had so much profited, that her Inclination for Grandeur had totally extinguished all her Love of Simplicity and Retirement; yet she was not Proficient enough to be perfectly versed in all the Arts of bringing about her own Purposes; but was greatly at a Loss in what manner to begin the Courtship on her Side, which was before begun on the proper Part, that of her Lover.
It
Page 66
It must be confessed that her Circumstances were aukward enough to have puzzled a much greater Adept in the Knowlege of the gay World; her Refusal of Lord Dellwyn whilst her Father was continually urging the Advantage of such a Proposal, and she flattering herself, that it was meritorious steadily to resist what she termed Persecution, had indeed been attended with too much Scorn and Contempt; which rendered the new Part she had now undertaken the more difficult to perform.
Lord Dellwyn now came frequently to Mr. Lucum's; for which Cause Miss Lucum went but little abroad; for she was greatly apprehensive, lest, by that means, she should miss some favourable Opportunity of putting in Practice her late-formed Resolution: Besides Lord Dellwyn's formal Manner of treating her, and his peculiar Attention to Lady Fanny in public, was too mortifying to her Pride, and she was too apt
on
Page 67
on such Occasions to expose herself: But a daily epistolary Correspondence, expressing the highest Friendship, passed between these Two young Ladies; tho' Miss Lucum, still unknown to herself, became much more formal, and Your Ladyship dropped much oftener from her Pen than had been her usual Custom; but Lady Fanny was profuse in her Professions of Affection, which at last became so high, that there were very few Degrees left for Improvement, if the Correspondence had continued to the End of a long Life.
When first Miss Lucum came to London, Lady Fanny Fashion taking more particular Notice of her than any other of her Mother's Relations, these Two young Ladies seldom passed a Day without seeing each other, or sending a Billet of Inquiry concern- ing each other's Health. Their Style then ran in this Manner:
I had
Page 68
I had many Things to say to dear Miss Lucum last Night; but you disappointed me by staying at home. I hope you will not continue in the same solitary Mood To-night. I shall be at Madam De-'s till you come.
Your affectionate
F. Fashion.
The ANSWER.
I am obliged to dear Lady Fanny for her kind Desire to see me, and will certainly be at Madam De-'s this Evening. I am
Your Ladyship's
sincere humble Servant,
C. Lucum.
But this was their present Style:
I cannot imagine, dear Miss Lucum, why you did not come to the Assembly last Night. I had no Pleasure there; for the insupportable Loss of your Company made every thing
around
Page 69
around me insipid. I could not sleep all Night for the alarming Fears which oppressed me, lest you should be ill. Why, when you know how much my Heart is wrapped up in your Safety, will you ever absent yourself without letting me know the Cause. Pray, dear Miss Lucum, write me a Line, to set my Heart at Ease, that you are well: For I am
Your most affectionate,
sincere, and faithful Friend,
F.Fashion.
The ANSWER.
Your Ladyship's Notice does me great Honour; but a little Cold and Indisposition prevents me the Pleasure of seeing your Ladyship often in public. Your Ladyship is not ignorant how little I love going abroad when I am indisposed; but I hope your Lady-
ship
Page 70
ship will not impute it to any Slight; for I am, Madam,
Your Ladyship's
Most obedient humble Servant,
Charlotte Lucum
One Evening Mr. Lucum being called abroad, on some Business of Importance, when Lord Dellwyn was at his House, he made an Apology to his Lordship, and left him alone with his Daughter. Now the much-desired Opportunity seemed to be favourable; but instead of being able to give her Thoughts Utterance, Miss Lucum blushed, and hesitated, like Lady Charlotte, in the Comedy of The Funeral. She was actuated with Love as much as Lady Charlotte in the Play, altho' the Object indeed was not her Lover; but the Grandeur and Triumph over her Rival it was in his Power to bestow. Miss Lucum started several Subjects, but could not, with any Pro-
priety,
Page 71
priety, mention that which was upper- most in her Thoughts; till Lord Dellwyn expressed his Desire that she would continue her Friendship to the Lady he hoped shortly -- Miss Lucum had not Patience to suffer him to proceed any farther; but, interrupting him, replied, "Is it customary, my Lord,
"amongst Men educated in the fa-
"shionable World, to take the bash-
"ful Reserve of a Country Girl for an
"absolute Refusal?"
These Words were not spoken by Miss Lucum without the utmost Hesitation; nor could she have made such an Advance to any Man of her Choice; and would perhaps have even let this Opportunity slip, without any further Attempts to accomplish her Purpose, than secretly wishing so to do, had not Lord Dellwyn raised all her Fears concerning Lady Fanny; and that so suddenly, that she was ready to run into any Danger, rather than suffer the Pain of that Apprehension.
5 This
Page 72
This gave his Lordship a Key to her Behaviour, which he had long wished for: He only desired the Shadow of some other Reason for her apparent Contempt, than that which his Inclination had strictly forbidden him to behold; namely, his own Disagreeableness. She had now afforded him that Gratification, and he gave Utterance to these Words:
"If, Madam, I could hope that
"bashful Modesty was your only Mo-
"tive for rejecting my Offer, and that
"the most earnest Sollicitation for
"your Favour would not be in vain,
"my Thoughts henceforward should
"center in you alone."
Either Miss Lucum's Looks, or her Answer, were so agreeable to his Lord- ship, that he seized her Hand, and kissed it, with an Imitation of youthful Warmth. But here the Struggle between Nature and Vanity was again renewed; the former being very unwil-
ling
Page 73
ling, totally and irretrievably to yield up so fair a Prize to her avowed and constant Enemy; and the Lady's Hand, like the sensitive Plant, spontaneously shrunk back to avoid his Touch; and at that Moment she almost despaired of her own Power to keep her Resolution.
Lady Macbeth's Reproach to her Husband, when she perceived that he wavered in his Purpose, and wanted an additional Spur to induce him to perpetrate his horrid Purpose, is applicable to many Motions of the human Mind.
----- Nor Time, nor Place,
Did there cohere, and yet you would make
both.
They have made themselves; and that their
Fitness now
Does unmake you.
VOL. I. E So
Page 74
So it was with Miss Lucum; but then the Fear of Lady Fanny again presented itself to her Thoughts, and gave the complete Triumph to Vanity; and Lord Dellwyn was so reasonable in his Demands of Marks of her Affection, that he was perfectly satisfied with her Behaviour.
They made an Appointment to meet the next Evening at a public Assembly, where Miss Lucum knew Lady Fanny was to be present. There her Eyes sparkled with all the triumphant Lustre, that having obtained a desirable Victory over a Rival could inspire them with. It is very doubtful, whether the Conquest of the most agreeable and truly valuable Lover, could have thrown her Heart into a higher Flutter of Rapture. Her Joy on that Occasion was so complete, it could admit of no Addition.
Miss Lucum's Mind was too much engrossed by Pleasure to make room
for
Page 75
for Reflexion, or she would have perceived, that, if Lord Dellwyn was really engaged to Lady Fanny Fashion, as he had given her sufficient Reason to conclude, he must necessarily now act a most dishonourable Part; and that, therefore, she had no Reason to place any Confidence in him; hut must be certain, that his Conduct was solely regulated by his own whimsical wavering Inclinations. Perhaps indeed Vanity had to entirely extinguished the Rectitude of her Mind, that his Baseness to others, and more particularly to her Rival, whilst it gave her an Opportunity of triumphing in her Success, might not have appeared worthy her Consideration.
The Pangs this short-lived Triumph must cost her, were also at that time banished from her Thoughts. Our Minds or Bodies are capable of going but one Road, and that a narrow Path, at one and the same time; and, when our Imaginations are elated with any
E 2 favourite
Page 76
favourite Pursuit, we are generally so indulgent to ourselves, as to suppress all troublesome and conscious Admonitions, till the Consequences of our Actions forcibly intrude Consideration upon us; and then we awake, as out of a Dream, and wonder whence all those Sufferings proceed.
Miss Lucum was perfectly indifferent as to my Lord's Virtues: She requested but one Favour of his Lordship; namely, that he would be an humble Instrument, in the Hand of Fortune, to gratify her Ambition, and serve her present desireable Purpose of heaping up for herself future Misery.
From henceforward all Things agreeable both to Lord Dellwyn's and Miss Lucum's Wish succeeded: A new-born but short-lived Sympathy; and even that was caused by their seeing each other but seldom: Miss Lucum was so thoroughly employed in the essential
Pre-
Page 77
Preparations for her Wedding, that she forgot the Bridegroom.
Mr. Lucum was lavish in adorning his now again dear Child, even to Profuseness, on this Occasion; for he also sympathised with her and his future Son-in-law, full as much as they did with each other. A general Good-humour reigned in all their Hearts, and was visible in their Countenances.
The Day was appointed for her Wedding. During the intermediate Space, Miss Lucum was under the most perfect Intoxication of Vanity: Cloaths were bought, new Equipages were ordered, new Schemes of Grandeur passed in continual Succession in her Mind, even Lord Dellwyn, for that small Portion of Time, became agreeable; for he seldom approached her, without securing himself a favourable Reception by some dazling Present.
E 3 Visionary
Page 78
Visionary Schemes of Happiness, built on magnificent State, gaudy Equipages, glittering Shew, and glaring Pomp, were ever swimming before her Eyes, and dazled all her poor intoxicated Senses.
The Wedding was completed, as described in the First Chapter of this Book; and, from this visionary State of the Bride's Mind, arose that vacant Look, which indicated such a total Insensibility at the Ceremony of her Marriage: For when she answered I will, she never imagined that she had promised more than that she would thenceforward follow implicitly wheresoever Vanity should lead; and add to the Liberty of a free-born Briton, all the Privileges of an English Woman of Quality.
CHAP.
CHAP. VII.
A complete Metamorphosis, without the Assistance of any supernatural Power.
WHEN such a Genius as Homer seems to be entering the vast wild Field of Romance, and bestows on his Circe the Power of depriving Men of their Senses, and stupefying them into Stocks or Stones; or either to extend their Arms into Wings, by the Help of which they cut the yield- ing Air, or, by another Kind of Transformation, to make them proper Companions for the four-footed Beasts of the Field; doth not Homer, by giving Men their Choice, whether or no they will drink of the Circaean Cup, plainly indicate, that he means nothing more than that the natural Intoxication, which is
the
Page 61
the Consequence of vicious Pleasures, has the Power of divesting Mankind of Humanity, and of changing Men into the Likeness of irrational Animals?
Ovid, with his unbounded Imagination, finds a Resemblance almost to every Vice in some different Animal; into the Likeness of which he puts the human Form.
These ingenious Men undoubtedly fell into this Method of displaying the fatal Effects of unbridled Inclinations, from the Difficulty they found of relating common Occurrences with Elegance, or of giving such an Energy to their Moral as would gain the Attention of any Number of Readers, without adding the pleasing Arts of Fancy. The bodily Changes they relate lead the few into the Contemplation of the intricate Labyrinths of the human Mind, and the Multitude have a marvellous Story for their Diversion.
Miss
Page 62
Miss Lucum was mentally transformed into another Creature: From that State of calm Tranquility, with which she left the Country, her whole Mind was now overwhelmed with black Clouds and tempestuous Storms.
An Amphisbena is said, by the Naturalists, to be a Creature so unfortunate as to be formed with Two Heads ; the one continually striving to lead it for- ward, and the other as strenuously endeavouring to drag it backward. It has been remarked, that every Individual amongst Mankind bears a Resemblance to some Species of the animal Creation: and Physiognomists say, that the human Mind hath the characteristical Disposition of the animal Species to which its Countenance bears a Similitude. As no Amphisbena's are to be seen in this Part of the World, it is impossible to determine whether Miss Lucum's Face was like either of those of the miserable double-headed Creature ; but it is certain that her Inclinations were drag-
ing
Page 63
ing her into such different Paths, that Ovid, with great Consistency with his manner of Writing, might have clapped her on a Pair of Heads, with the utmost Facility.
No Egyptian Task-master can in Cruelty exceed the Tyrant Vanity; for she delivers, at one and the same time, Two opposite Commands; expects implicit Obedience; flatters her Subjects with some gay Reward of their Labours; and, in the End, all those Per- sons, who have unhappily chosen such a Leader, find, to their great Mortification, that, like Macbeth's Dagger,
There is no such thing.
Alps rise o'er Aps, "and Cloudcapt Mountains" are to be surmounted, and, when the Summit is gained, it is as slippery as Ice; and there is no Method to gain a resting Place, but to descend again as fast as possible.
The
Page 64
The Tyrant had informed Miss Lucum, that Equipage and Magnificence of all kinds were necessary to her Well- being; and that all other Things were beneath the Inclinations of a Woman of Spirit. There was but One visible Means by which she could obtain this valuable Gratification; and the same Vanity forbad her that Road. To condescend to court the Man she had refused; to confirm the Truth of the Rumour that was spread through the Town, that she wished to allure my Lord Dellwyn to be her Husband ; this was a Mortification too great to sup- port with any Degree of Patience. Sometimes a small Remembrance of a Possibility of returning into the Country, would appear for a Moment al- most an eligible Alternative; and if, at that Instant, Lord Dellwyn had sollicited her Favour, in all Probability vain would have been his Sollicitation; but, on the other Hand, the Possibility of its not being in her Power to regain his Lordship, the dreadful Catastrophe
of
Page 65
of Lady Fanny Fashion's becoming his Countess, the Fear that she herself could not, together with that most alarming of all Fears, that Lady Fanny could, were Inducements too powerful to be withstood. She lost the Consideration of all the Consequences that must unavoidably attend such a Marriage, and determined to give her Hand to Lord Dellwyn, as a less Evil than what she otherwise apprehended.
Miss Lucum's Determination on Marriage by no means removed all her Perplexity; for altho', during her short Stay in London, she had so much profited, that her Inclination for Grandeur had totally extinguished all her Love of Simplicity and Retirement; yet she was not Proficient enough to be perfectly versed in all the Arts of bringing about her own Purposes; but was greatly at a Loss in what manner to begin the Courtship on her Side, which was before begun on the proper Part, that of her Lover.
It
Page 66
It must be confessed that her Circumstances were aukward enough to have puzzled a much greater Adept in the Knowlege of the gay World; her Refusal of Lord Dellwyn whilst her Father was continually urging the Advantage of such a Proposal, and she flattering herself, that it was meritorious steadily to resist what she termed Persecution, had indeed been attended with too much Scorn and Contempt; which rendered the new Part she had now undertaken the more difficult to perform.
Lord Dellwyn now came frequently to Mr. Lucum's; for which Cause Miss Lucum went but little abroad; for she was greatly apprehensive, lest, by that means, she should miss some favourable Opportunity of putting in Practice her late-formed Resolution: Besides Lord Dellwyn's formal Manner of treating her, and his peculiar Attention to Lady Fanny in public, was too mortifying to her Pride, and she was too apt
on
Page 67
on such Occasions to expose herself: But a daily epistolary Correspondence, expressing the highest Friendship, passed between these Two young Ladies; tho' Miss Lucum, still unknown to herself, became much more formal, and Your Ladyship dropped much oftener from her Pen than had been her usual Custom; but Lady Fanny was profuse in her Professions of Affection, which at last became so high, that there were very few Degrees left for Improvement, if the Correspondence had continued to the End of a long Life.
When first Miss Lucum came to London, Lady Fanny Fashion taking more particular Notice of her than any other of her Mother's Relations, these Two young Ladies seldom passed a Day without seeing each other, or sending a Billet of Inquiry concern- ing each other's Health. Their Style then ran in this Manner:
I had
Page 68
I had many Things to say to dear Miss Lucum last Night; but you disappointed me by staying at home. I hope you will not continue in the same solitary Mood To-night. I shall be at Madam De-'s till you come.
Your affectionate
F. Fashion.
The ANSWER.
I am obliged to dear Lady Fanny for her kind Desire to see me, and will certainly be at Madam De-'s this Evening. I am
Your Ladyship's
sincere humble Servant,
C. Lucum.
But this was their present Style:
I cannot imagine, dear Miss Lucum, why you did not come to the Assembly last Night. I had no Pleasure there; for the insupportable Loss of your Company made every thing
around
Page 69
around me insipid. I could not sleep all Night for the alarming Fears which oppressed me, lest you should be ill. Why, when you know how much my Heart is wrapped up in your Safety, will you ever absent yourself without letting me know the Cause. Pray, dear Miss Lucum, write me a Line, to set my Heart at Ease, that you are well: For I am
Your most affectionate,
sincere, and faithful Friend,
F.Fashion.
The ANSWER.
Your Ladyship's Notice does me great Honour; but a little Cold and Indisposition prevents me the Pleasure of seeing your Ladyship often in public. Your Ladyship is not ignorant how little I love going abroad when I am indisposed; but I hope your Lady-
ship
Page 70
ship will not impute it to any Slight; for I am, Madam,
Your Ladyship's
Most obedient humble Servant,
Charlotte Lucum
One Evening Mr. Lucum being called abroad, on some Business of Importance, when Lord Dellwyn was at his House, he made an Apology to his Lordship, and left him alone with his Daughter. Now the much-desired Opportunity seemed to be favourable; but instead of being able to give her Thoughts Utterance, Miss Lucum blushed, and hesitated, like Lady Charlotte, in the Comedy of The Funeral. She was actuated with Love as much as Lady Charlotte in the Play, altho' the Object indeed was not her Lover; but the Grandeur and Triumph over her Rival it was in his Power to bestow. Miss Lucum started several Subjects, but could not, with any Pro-
priety,
Page 71
priety, mention that which was upper- most in her Thoughts; till Lord Dellwyn expressed his Desire that she would continue her Friendship to the Lady he hoped shortly -- Miss Lucum had not Patience to suffer him to proceed any farther; but, interrupting him, replied, "Is it customary, my Lord,
"amongst Men educated in the fa-
"shionable World, to take the bash-
"ful Reserve of a Country Girl for an
"absolute Refusal?"
These Words were not spoken by Miss Lucum without the utmost Hesitation; nor could she have made such an Advance to any Man of her Choice; and would perhaps have even let this Opportunity slip, without any further Attempts to accomplish her Purpose, than secretly wishing so to do, had not Lord Dellwyn raised all her Fears concerning Lady Fanny; and that so suddenly, that she was ready to run into any Danger, rather than suffer the Pain of that Apprehension.
5 This
Page 72
This gave his Lordship a Key to her Behaviour, which he had long wished for: He only desired the Shadow of some other Reason for her apparent Contempt, than that which his Inclination had strictly forbidden him to behold; namely, his own Disagreeableness. She had now afforded him that Gratification, and he gave Utterance to these Words:
"If, Madam, I could hope that
"bashful Modesty was your only Mo-
"tive for rejecting my Offer, and that
"the most earnest Sollicitation for
"your Favour would not be in vain,
"my Thoughts henceforward should
"center in you alone."
Either Miss Lucum's Looks, or her Answer, were so agreeable to his Lord- ship, that he seized her Hand, and kissed it, with an Imitation of youthful Warmth. But here the Struggle between Nature and Vanity was again renewed; the former being very unwil-
ling
Page 73
ling, totally and irretrievably to yield up so fair a Prize to her avowed and constant Enemy; and the Lady's Hand, like the sensitive Plant, spontaneously shrunk back to avoid his Touch; and at that Moment she almost despaired of her own Power to keep her Resolution.
Lady Macbeth's Reproach to her Husband, when she perceived that he wavered in his Purpose, and wanted an additional Spur to induce him to perpetrate his horrid Purpose, is applicable to many Motions of the human Mind.
----- Nor Time, nor Place,
Did there cohere, and yet you would make
both.
They have made themselves; and that their
Fitness now
Does unmake you.
VOL. I. E So
Page 74
So it was with Miss Lucum; but then the Fear of Lady Fanny again presented itself to her Thoughts, and gave the complete Triumph to Vanity; and Lord Dellwyn was so reasonable in his Demands of Marks of her Affection, that he was perfectly satisfied with her Behaviour.
They made an Appointment to meet the next Evening at a public Assembly, where Miss Lucum knew Lady Fanny was to be present. There her Eyes sparkled with all the triumphant Lustre, that having obtained a desirable Victory over a Rival could inspire them with. It is very doubtful, whether the Conquest of the most agreeable and truly valuable Lover, could have thrown her Heart into a higher Flutter of Rapture. Her Joy on that Occasion was so complete, it could admit of no Addition.
Miss Lucum's Mind was too much engrossed by Pleasure to make room
for
Page 75
for Reflexion, or she would have perceived, that, if Lord Dellwyn was really engaged to Lady Fanny Fashion, as he had given her sufficient Reason to conclude, he must necessarily now act a most dishonourable Part; and that, therefore, she had no Reason to place any Confidence in him; hut must be certain, that his Conduct was solely regulated by his own whimsical wavering Inclinations. Perhaps indeed Vanity had to entirely extinguished the Rectitude of her Mind, that his Baseness to others, and more particularly to her Rival, whilst it gave her an Opportunity of triumphing in her Success, might not have appeared worthy her Consideration.
The Pangs this short-lived Triumph must cost her, were also at that time banished from her Thoughts. Our Minds or Bodies are capable of going but one Road, and that a narrow Path, at one and the same time; and, when our Imaginations are elated with any
E 2 favourite
Page 76
favourite Pursuit, we are generally so indulgent to ourselves, as to suppress all troublesome and conscious Admonitions, till the Consequences of our Actions forcibly intrude Consideration upon us; and then we awake, as out of a Dream, and wonder whence all those Sufferings proceed.
Miss Lucum was perfectly indifferent as to my Lord's Virtues: She requested but one Favour of his Lordship; namely, that he would be an humble Instrument, in the Hand of Fortune, to gratify her Ambition, and serve her present desireable Purpose of heaping up for herself future Misery.
From henceforward all Things agreeable both to Lord Dellwyn's and Miss Lucum's Wish succeeded: A new-born but short-lived Sympathy; and even that was caused by their seeing each other but seldom: Miss Lucum was so thoroughly employed in the essential
Pre-
Page 77
Preparations for her Wedding, that she forgot the Bridegroom.
Mr. Lucum was lavish in adorning his now again dear Child, even to Profuseness, on this Occasion; for he also sympathised with her and his future Son-in-law, full as much as they did with each other. A general Good-humour reigned in all their Hearts, and was visible in their Countenances.
The Day was appointed for her Wedding. During the intermediate Space, Miss Lucum was under the most perfect Intoxication of Vanity: Cloaths were bought, new Equipages were ordered, new Schemes of Grandeur passed in continual Succession in her Mind, even Lord Dellwyn, for that small Portion of Time, became agreeable; for he seldom approached her, without securing himself a favourable Reception by some dazling Present.
E 3 Visionary
Page 78
Visionary Schemes of Happiness, built on magnificent State, gaudy Equipages, glittering Shew, and glaring Pomp, were ever swimming before her Eyes, and dazled all her poor intoxicated Senses.
The Wedding was completed, as described in the First Chapter of this Book; and, from this visionary State of the Bride's Mind, arose that vacant Look, which indicated such a total Insensibility at the Ceremony of her Marriage: For when she answered I will, she never imagined that she had promised more than that she would thenceforward follow implicitly wheresoever Vanity should lead; and add to the Liberty of a free-born Briton, all the Privileges of an English Woman of Quality.
CHAP.
Chapter 8
Page 123
CHAP. VIII. Human Happiness. NOW, taking Leave of Miss Lu- cum, it is time to acknowlege her in her more exalted Station, and consider her as Countess of Dellwyn. A Change of the utmost Importance to herself, as her new-acquired Dignity was ever present to her Memory, and elated her Imagination. Mr. Lucum's Transformation was full as visible as that of his Daughter; he was become, as the Clown in Shake- speare expresses it, "A tall Man of his " Hands ;" and the characteristical De- scription Ulysses gives Achilles, in the same Author's Troilus and Cressida, E 4 without
Page 124
80 without straining the Sense, will bear an Application to Mr. Lucum in his State of "new-blown Honours." He bastes his Arrogance with his own Seam, And never suffers Matters of the World Enter his thoughts, save such as do re- volve And ruminate himself. Lord Dellwyn, his new Bride, and Mr. Lucum, all Three equally promised themselves a full Gratification of all their Desires. The Lady, indeed, when the Time approached of her returning home in the Evening, was not totally divested of all Uneasiness; but the many Schemes of Pleasure, that played in her Fancy, assisted her to fix her Thoughts on future Magnificence; and yet more particularly was she elated with the Prospect of a certain Triumph over Lady Fanny Fashion: But that young Lady somewhat disappointed her Hopes; for she congratulated her on her
Page 125
81 her Marriage, with a Politeness that in- dicated no very deep Affliction on the Occasion. Lady Dellwyn was truly sensible, that, had Lady Fanny married her Lord, she could by no means have been thus calm in her Behaviour; and there- fore was somewhat surprised at her Rival's Indifference. Whether that In- difference was really in Lady Fanny's Heart, or only the Effect of a superior Education, which had taught her, with great Facility, to disguise the inward Movements of her Mind, cannot be easily determined. Now each Day produced some new Joy; receiving and returning Visits was- for some time a constant Employment; and Complaints of the great Fatigue of doing that, which her Ladyihip would have thought a serious Misfortune to have omitted, furnished sufficient Mat- ter for Conversation during the few Minutes she remained in any one Place, E 5 with-
Page 126
82 without varying the Subject; and every Company she left, found Entertain- ment sufficient in criticising the Dress and Behaviour of the new Countess: Many Ladies heartily sympathised with Lady Dellwyn, in bemoaning her Fa- tigue, and declared that they should rejoice, for her Sake, when her insup- portable Labour of visiting was ended. No Day intervened till Lady Dellwyn had appeared at every public Assem- bly; her glaring Equipage was known by the whole Town, and she had the Honour of becoming the general Sub- ject of Conversation, and filling up all the Time which could possibly be spared from Cards. It was very observable, that altho', but a few Months before, the Incredi- bility of Lord Dellwyn's marrying Miss Lucum was so very apparent, that almost every Person was ashamed of exposing such a Mark of Weakness, as to be duped into the Belief of so high an Improbability; yet now it appeared plainly,
Page 127
83 plainly, that the Fact was as well known before it happened, as after- wards; for every Lady declared it was what she had always imagined, she had foreseen it from the Beginning; nay, Hints were dropped by some very ex- traordinary Prophetesses, of their know- ing of the Marriage so long before its being accomplished, that they un- fortunately fixed the Period of their Forecast, even before Lord Dellwyn was acquainted with his present Coun- tess. It became a Matter of Debate, whose Property this Prophecy was; and those Persons contended most strongly for the Honour of having been the first Authors of it, who had origi- nally the most vehemently insisted on its Impossibility. By the time Lady Dellwyn had shown herself in every Scene of Gaiety and Diversion, the Season approached for the Rising of the Parliament, when the public Places, constituted by the Discovery of various salutary Wa- E 6 ters,
Page 128
84 ters, began to divide the Company; which had flocked together in the Winter to the Metropolis, as Bees to their Hives, when the Flowers droop, and afford them no longer an Oppor- tnnity to extract the liquid Sweets to make their Honey. At this Season of the Year some Fa- milies retire to their Country Seats, and are welcomed by the rejoicing Hearts of their neighbouring Poor; who have suffered dreary Want through a long laborious Winter, having no other Em- ployment, by which they can support themselves, but what they can obtain from each other: A Welcome which must expand and delight the bene- ficent Mind beyond the Power of Ex- pression. The Ease with which this Pleasure is to be attained by every Gentleman, who is endued with any considerable Property in his Country (for it requires neither Labour nor Anxiety to purchase it) may perhaps be one Reason why it is so often neglect- ed;
Page 129
85 ed; but it is very probable that many Gentlemen would not be of Opinion that Pleasure is every-where to be found but in the midst of their own Posses- sions, were they not unfortunately, by the Prevalence of Fashion, too often kept from their Youth in absolute Ig- norance of the joyful Scenes it is in the Power of their own Home to bestow. But it is time to finish this Chapter; which, beginning with human Hap- piness, must naturally come to a short Conclusion. CHAP.
CHAP. VIII. Human Happiness. NOW, taking Leave of Miss Lu- cum, it is time to acknowlege her in her more exalted Station, and consider her as Countess of Dellwyn. A Change of the utmost Importance to herself, as her new-acquired Dignity was ever present to her Memory, and elated her Imagination. Mr. Lucum's Transformation was full as visible as that of his Daughter; he was become, as the Clown in Shake- speare expresses it, "A tall Man of his " Hands ;" and the characteristical De- scription Ulysses gives Achilles, in the same Author's Troilus and Cressida, E 4 without
Page 124
80 without straining the Sense, will bear an Application to Mr. Lucum in his State of "new-blown Honours." He bastes his Arrogance with his own Seam, And never suffers Matters of the World Enter his thoughts, save such as do re- volve And ruminate himself. Lord Dellwyn, his new Bride, and Mr. Lucum, all Three equally promised themselves a full Gratification of all their Desires. The Lady, indeed, when the Time approached of her returning home in the Evening, was not totally divested of all Uneasiness; but the many Schemes of Pleasure, that played in her Fancy, assisted her to fix her Thoughts on future Magnificence; and yet more particularly was she elated with the Prospect of a certain Triumph over Lady Fanny Fashion: But that young Lady somewhat disappointed her Hopes; for she congratulated her on her
Page 125
81 her Marriage, with a Politeness that in- dicated no very deep Affliction on the Occasion. Lady Dellwyn was truly sensible, that, had Lady Fanny married her Lord, she could by no means have been thus calm in her Behaviour; and there- fore was somewhat surprised at her Rival's Indifference. Whether that In- difference was really in Lady Fanny's Heart, or only the Effect of a superior Education, which had taught her, with great Facility, to disguise the inward Movements of her Mind, cannot be easily determined. Now each Day produced some new Joy; receiving and returning Visits was- for some time a constant Employment; and Complaints of the great Fatigue of doing that, which her Ladyihip would have thought a serious Misfortune to have omitted, furnished sufficient Mat- ter for Conversation during the few Minutes she remained in any one Place, E 5 with-
Page 126
82 without varying the Subject; and every Company she left, found Entertain- ment sufficient in criticising the Dress and Behaviour of the new Countess: Many Ladies heartily sympathised with Lady Dellwyn, in bemoaning her Fa- tigue, and declared that they should rejoice, for her Sake, when her insup- portable Labour of visiting was ended. No Day intervened till Lady Dellwyn had appeared at every public Assem- bly; her glaring Equipage was known by the whole Town, and she had the Honour of becoming the general Sub- ject of Conversation, and filling up all the Time which could possibly be spared from Cards. It was very observable, that altho', but a few Months before, the Incredi- bility of Lord Dellwyn's marrying Miss Lucum was so very apparent, that almost every Person was ashamed of exposing such a Mark of Weakness, as to be duped into the Belief of so high an Improbability; yet now it appeared plainly,
Page 127
83 plainly, that the Fact was as well known before it happened, as after- wards; for every Lady declared it was what she had always imagined, she had foreseen it from the Beginning; nay, Hints were dropped by some very ex- traordinary Prophetesses, of their know- ing of the Marriage so long before its being accomplished, that they un- fortunately fixed the Period of their Forecast, even before Lord Dellwyn was acquainted with his present Coun- tess. It became a Matter of Debate, whose Property this Prophecy was; and those Persons contended most strongly for the Honour of having been the first Authors of it, who had origi- nally the most vehemently insisted on its Impossibility. By the time Lady Dellwyn had shown herself in every Scene of Gaiety and Diversion, the Season approached for the Rising of the Parliament, when the public Places, constituted by the Discovery of various salutary Wa- E 6 ters,
Page 128
84 ters, began to divide the Company; which had flocked together in the Winter to the Metropolis, as Bees to their Hives, when the Flowers droop, and afford them no longer an Oppor- tnnity to extract the liquid Sweets to make their Honey. At this Season of the Year some Fa- milies retire to their Country Seats, and are welcomed by the rejoicing Hearts of their neighbouring Poor; who have suffered dreary Want through a long laborious Winter, having no other Em- ployment, by which they can support themselves, but what they can obtain from each other: A Welcome which must expand and delight the bene- ficent Mind beyond the Power of Ex- pression. The Ease with which this Pleasure is to be attained by every Gentleman, who is endued with any considerable Property in his Country (for it requires neither Labour nor Anxiety to purchase it) may perhaps be one Reason why it is so often neglect- ed;
Page 129
85 ed; but it is very probable that many Gentlemen would not be of Opinion that Pleasure is every-where to be found but in the midst of their own Posses- sions, were they not unfortunately, by the Prevalence of Fashion, too often kept from their Youth in absolute Ig- norance of the joyful Scenes it is in the Power of their own Home to bestow. But it is time to finish this Chapter; which, beginning with human Hap- piness, must naturally come to a short Conclusion. CHAP.
Chapter 9
Page 86
CHAP. IX.
An old Castle fashioned to a modern Taste, and made tolerably habitable.
LADY Dellwyn most willingly consented to accompany her Lord to his Country Seat; for she now apprehended, that there was no Probability any Company would remain in Town, whom she could have any Desire to see; or, to speak with greater Propriety, to whom she could have any Inclination to shew herself. Her Father's House, which had afforded her a pleasant Retirement during his imaginary Contempt of Grandeur, was at so small a Distance from her Lord's Castle, that there she might visit all her old Acquaintance, the Companions and Friends of her Youth; with whom her
Hours
Page 87
Hours of calm Serenity had glided on through many revolving Years, without one ruffling Storm to disturb or irritate her gentle Bosom.
I would not be misunderstood, as if I intended to relate any thing so truly unnatural, as it would be for the Countess of Dellwyn, in her transformed State, to have the least Inclination to share the rural Pleasures of the former Friends of Miss Lucum; but she imagined she should receive more refined Delight by displaying her Magnificence to the Eyes of those Persons she had once esteemed her Equals, than to such new Acquaintance as were ignorant of her former Situation. She promised herself a double Joy by the Consideration that it must be firmly fixed in their Memory, that it was Miss Lucum herself who was raised to so exalted a Station.
There is nothing so constantly disappoints its own Purposes as Vanity;
and
Page 88
and here Lady Dellwyn met with a very unexpected Mortification; her former Friends did not look on her with near so high an Admiration as she did on herself: They had not breathed in the Air of London, no Electricity had inflamed them with the Love of Grandeur, neither had they undergone any Circaean Transformation; they paid her as much Respect as they thought her Due, but did not continually acknowlege her Dignity; nay, her chief Favourite, Miss Cummins, was even so rusticated, that she attempted talking to her Ladyship in the affectionate Language with which she was accustomed to express her Sentiments to Miss Lucum. She was soon made sensible that the Countess disliked her ill- bred Familiarity; but, being too unpolite to acknowlege her Error, she avoided that Company which would not condescend to her Peculiarity of Disposition; and so much doth Vanity throw us into the Power of every Individual of the human Species, how-
8 ever
Page 89
ever contemptibly we may think proper to treat them, that Lady Dellwyn was inwardly hurt by this steady Behaviour of her Friend; and Indignation, which is ever accompanied by a painful Sensation, crept into her Bosom, and in a Moment drove thence all her former fancied Friendship: I say fancied; for Friendship, which is real, and built on right Principles, where just Esteem is the strong Foundation, is unalterable by Time or Accident, whilst Life itself endures.
Lady Dellwyn, however, met with as much Flattery as she could desire from great Part of her Neighbourhood; but yet, so greatly doth Difficulty enhance the Pleasure, one flattering Expression from Miss Cummins would have been received by her with more Joy, than all the creeping Servility that others could treat her with; but this, unfortunately for her Ladyship's Desires, was not to be purchased; for Miss Cummins could not possibly
give
Page 90
give what she had not to bestow, and she had never cultivated any Degree of Flattery in her Mind. This Behaviour of Miss Cummins was the second Incident, which lowered, in her own Eyes, the Value of the Title so dearly purchased.
Lady Dellwyn now employed her- self in reversing every thing in her Lord's Castle, as totally as her own Mind had been changed. She seemed to have laid it down as her chief Rule, to consider first what was most useful; and whatever she found so, she gave immediate Orders for dismissing from under her Roof, as being too vulgar Furniture to have a Place there. Substantial Pieces of Goods (which perhaps were greatly valued by my Lord's Ancestors) were also very offensive to her Ladyship's Sight; they, for their Clumsiness, were discarded, and in their room were placed China Images, and all manner of Chinese Figures; some that stood still, and some that, by pul-
ling
Page 91
ling a String, might be put into such insignificant Shakings and Motions, as made the Heads of the Beholders giddy, when it happens that their Dizziness is not too great before to admit of any Addition from outward Objects. And thus was this noble ancient Castle, which, in its old Form, struck the Imagination both with Dignity Simplicity, filled with such trifling Gewgaws, that it was dangerous to move, lest some of the Clock-work Trumpery should be thrown down and put out of Joint; the constant Consequence of which was a thorough Discomposure of all the Lady's Features. In this manner the Lady of the Mansion was so happy as to rid herself of some small Portion of Time with tolerable Selfsatisfaction; whilst the exquisite Elegance of her own Taste was the daily Subject of her Admiration.
CHAP.
CHAP. IX.
An old Castle fashioned to a modern Taste, and made tolerably habitable.
LADY Dellwyn most willingly consented to accompany her Lord to his Country Seat; for she now apprehended, that there was no Probability any Company would remain in Town, whom she could have any Desire to see; or, to speak with greater Propriety, to whom she could have any Inclination to shew herself. Her Father's House, which had afforded her a pleasant Retirement during his imaginary Contempt of Grandeur, was at so small a Distance from her Lord's Castle, that there she might visit all her old Acquaintance, the Companions and Friends of her Youth; with whom her
Hours
Page 87
Hours of calm Serenity had glided on through many revolving Years, without one ruffling Storm to disturb or irritate her gentle Bosom.
I would not be misunderstood, as if I intended to relate any thing so truly unnatural, as it would be for the Countess of Dellwyn, in her transformed State, to have the least Inclination to share the rural Pleasures of the former Friends of Miss Lucum; but she imagined she should receive more refined Delight by displaying her Magnificence to the Eyes of those Persons she had once esteemed her Equals, than to such new Acquaintance as were ignorant of her former Situation. She promised herself a double Joy by the Consideration that it must be firmly fixed in their Memory, that it was Miss Lucum herself who was raised to so exalted a Station.
There is nothing so constantly disappoints its own Purposes as Vanity;
and
Page 88
and here Lady Dellwyn met with a very unexpected Mortification; her former Friends did not look on her with near so high an Admiration as she did on herself: They had not breathed in the Air of London, no Electricity had inflamed them with the Love of Grandeur, neither had they undergone any Circaean Transformation; they paid her as much Respect as they thought her Due, but did not continually acknowlege her Dignity; nay, her chief Favourite, Miss Cummins, was even so rusticated, that she attempted talking to her Ladyship in the affectionate Language with which she was accustomed to express her Sentiments to Miss Lucum. She was soon made sensible that the Countess disliked her ill- bred Familiarity; but, being too unpolite to acknowlege her Error, she avoided that Company which would not condescend to her Peculiarity of Disposition; and so much doth Vanity throw us into the Power of every Individual of the human Species, how-
8 ever
Page 89
ever contemptibly we may think proper to treat them, that Lady Dellwyn was inwardly hurt by this steady Behaviour of her Friend; and Indignation, which is ever accompanied by a painful Sensation, crept into her Bosom, and in a Moment drove thence all her former fancied Friendship: I say fancied; for Friendship, which is real, and built on right Principles, where just Esteem is the strong Foundation, is unalterable by Time or Accident, whilst Life itself endures.
Lady Dellwyn, however, met with as much Flattery as she could desire from great Part of her Neighbourhood; but yet, so greatly doth Difficulty enhance the Pleasure, one flattering Expression from Miss Cummins would have been received by her with more Joy, than all the creeping Servility that others could treat her with; but this, unfortunately for her Ladyship's Desires, was not to be purchased; for Miss Cummins could not possibly
give
Page 90
give what she had not to bestow, and she had never cultivated any Degree of Flattery in her Mind. This Behaviour of Miss Cummins was the second Incident, which lowered, in her own Eyes, the Value of the Title so dearly purchased.
Lady Dellwyn now employed her- self in reversing every thing in her Lord's Castle, as totally as her own Mind had been changed. She seemed to have laid it down as her chief Rule, to consider first what was most useful; and whatever she found so, she gave immediate Orders for dismissing from under her Roof, as being too vulgar Furniture to have a Place there. Substantial Pieces of Goods (which perhaps were greatly valued by my Lord's Ancestors) were also very offensive to her Ladyship's Sight; they, for their Clumsiness, were discarded, and in their room were placed China Images, and all manner of Chinese Figures; some that stood still, and some that, by pul-
ling
Page 91
ling a String, might be put into such insignificant Shakings and Motions, as made the Heads of the Beholders giddy, when it happens that their Dizziness is not too great before to admit of any Addition from outward Objects. And thus was this noble ancient Castle, which, in its old Form, struck the Imagination both with Dignity Simplicity, filled with such trifling Gewgaws, that it was dangerous to move, lest some of the Clock-work Trumpery should be thrown down and put out of Joint; the constant Consequence of which was a thorough Discomposure of all the Lady's Features. In this manner the Lady of the Mansion was so happy as to rid herself of some small Portion of Time with tolerable Selfsatisfaction; whilst the exquisite Elegance of her own Taste was the daily Subject of her Admiration.
CHAP.
Notes to Vol. 1, Book 1, Chapters 7-9
Chapter 7
Homer: author credited with The Iliad and The Odyssey
Circe: In Greek mythology, Circe was the goddess of magic. Appears in Homer's The Odyssey.
Circaean Cup: Circe, who dwelt in the island of Aea, transformed all who drank of her cup into swine. (OED)
Ovid: 1st century BCE Roman poet, known for the Metamorphoses, a mythological epic poem.
Amphisbena: Greek mythology. A mythological, ant-eating serpent with a head at each end. According to Greek mythology, the amphisbaena was spawned from the blood that dripped from the Gorgon Medusa's head as Perseus flew over the Libyan Desert with it in his hand.
Physiognomists: a person who reads faces or other physical features to discern character (OED)
Task-master: Biblical reference to Exodus. Taskmasters were slave masters put over the Israelites.
There is no such thing: Cf. Act 2, Scene 1 of Shakespeare's Macbeth
"Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand?
Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? Or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going,
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' th' other senses,
Or else worth all the rest. I see thee still,
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood,
Which was not so before. There's no such thing." (ls 33-48)
"Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand?
Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? Or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
I see thee yet, in form as palpable
As this which now I draw.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going,
And such an instrument I was to use.
Mine eyes are made the fools o' th' other senses,
Or else worth all the rest. I see thee still,
And on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood,
Which was not so before. There's no such thing." (ls 33-48)
aukward: 1759 spelling of "awkward."
meritorious: deserving of a reward, having merit. (OED)
epistolary: letters. (OED)
Billet: A short written document. (OED)
insipid: tasteless, uninteresting, lifeless, dull. (OED)
Nor Time, nor Place ... Does unmake you: Cf. Act 1, Scene 7 of Shakespeare's Macbeth
"Nor time nor place
Did then adhere, and yet you would make both.
They have made themselves, and that their fitness now
Does unmake you. I have given suck, and know
How tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me.
I would, while it was smiling in my face,
Have plucked my nipple from his boneless gums
And dashed the brains out, had I so sworn as you
Have done to this." (ls 51-55)
"Nor time nor place
Did then adhere, and yet you would make both.
They have made themselves, and that their fitness now
Does unmake you. I have given suck, and know
How tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me.
I would, while it was smiling in my face,
Have plucked my nipple from his boneless gums
And dashed the brains out, had I so sworn as you
Have done to this." (ls 51-55)
public Assembly: Public assemblies were gatherings for conversation, perhaps with incidental music and entertainments.
Reflexion: 1759 spelling of "reflection."
Equipages: Apparel, attire, costume, dress. (OED)
Shew: 1759 spelling of "show."
dazled: 1759 spelling of "dazzled."
Chapter 9
Circaean: Of, pertaining to, or resembling the enchantress Circe who transformed those who drank from her cup into swine. (OED)
rusticated: Living in the countryside; leading a country life; rustic in nature. (OED)
Servility: Mean submissiveness, degradingly obedient demeanor. (OED)
Gewgaws: A gaudy trifle, plaything, or ornament, a pretty thing of little value, a toy or bauble. (OED)
Trumpery: worthless stuff, trash, rubbish. (OED)
